A Mothers Job(s)

I was in the shower thinking - yes I do most of my best thinking in the shower ... now the secrets out about why I take such long showers - anyway I was thinking of all the jobs I get the privilege to attend to today. So I made a list. Feel free to add any I have forgotten.

Magician - I am to magically make a drink appear at any time and any place.

Spelunker - reaching into the abyss of a toilet to retrieve a toy counts

Mt. Climber - It takes 3 trips up a very long and steep set of steps to get all of my sleeping kids out of the car and into the house - more if groceries are included.

Chauffeur - yes I'm in the front, they are in the rear (where is the sound proof glass?)


Bus Driver - 8-10 kids could ride a short bus (short bus? hmmm)


Clown - I thought I was playing with my kids - Craig thought I could be accused of being MR


Merry Maid - Yes I'm a horrible mom - I make the 7 beds each day (but they actually look good when I do it!)

Detective - 'Did you bite your brother?'

Hunter - I am in charge of getting rid of any pests that are trying to infiltrate our house this fall. Mice, Chipmunks, Moles, and Wood-Peckers.


Counselor - Kaid said, 'your making me mad mom' I reply, 'I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing your feelings, but I don't care. Now it's still bedtime.'


Nurse/Doctor - based on the severity of the wound


Movie Critic - You can't watch Sponge Bob for the 7 billionth time because it's a show that makes you stupider not smarter.



Massage Therapist -when those legs are hurting from growing pains
Sanitation Worker - Diapers - 'nuff said

Phone Book 'What's so and so's number' (I didn't know I could be an inanimate object)
Religion Professor - why did God make bad people?

Journalist - scrap booking our current events

Nail Tech - I get to cut and color my kids nails on a regular bases

Police Man - 'Are you chewing gum? Your banned from gum!!!! Remember when you got it in your toes!)

Nutritionist - 'No you can't take just tootsie rolls in your lunch today'

Child Development Expert - We all know it takes a lot to really, really scar your child for life

Research Assistant - New Math (I wasn't all up on the old math -where is the homework hotline number?)

Weather Man - don't forget your coat

Fashion Consultant - A swimsuit and rain boots are a huge fashion faux -pas in kindergarten.
Interrogator- Did you wet your pants - denial - I know you wet your pants - denial - Just go in and change.

Treasure Hunter - I always know where x marks the spot - yes, your shoes are out by the tramp, your book bag is still in the car, your favorite toy fell behind the toilet

Interpreter - a 1 1/2 Year old

Cow - I'm nursing

Ghost Buster - I get rid of any scary entities in bedrooms at night.

Pack Horse - How do I end up with 3 back-packs and 2 babies to carry home from the bus stop?

Natural Disaster Rescue Worker - Natural Disaster = Toy Room, Rescue Worker = 'Don't throw the ball to the baby she can't catch it!'

Geek Squad - I'm the first person they call when Reader Rabbit has dissappeared down the rabbit hole because some innocent child (Quinn) started hitting buttons at random.

...and this list was developed all in the shower this morning. Productive Shower!